Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Issue of Marriage

I discovered this lady's blog earlier this year - I'm not sure if I blogged about her already.

She has given herself a year to find her husband. Starting from this January, Neenah (that's her name) has thrown herself into a committed schedule of dating and introductions through speed dating, blind dates, online dating, and going to all the places where the men are (sports games, church, etc.). So far, she hasn't found her Mr. Right but it has been interesting reading her journey.

In this post, she shares her experiences speed dating. As someone who does not do vulnerability and intimacy very well, I commend her courage in opening up herself to the world. She set up the website and blog to not only share her dating travails with the world, but more importantly to provide a forum for her to meet more men (you can schedule dates with her or recommend someone) and get direction and guidance from the public.

If she doesn't meet her husband this year, Neenah plans on taking a break from dating in next year. And you all know that is when she'll meet him, right?

On a slightly different but related note, I caught a segment on Today on STV this morning before I left for work. A lady was promoting her NGO which she set up to provide marriage counselling to young married women. It's great for women to have spaces for advice and support, but the mantra being promoted was the same old thing we hear: women must learn to submit to their husbands (what happened to the part about submitting to each other?); choose an undemanding career so that you have more time for your family; divorce is unacceptable in all conditions (though separation for a period is fine until you come to your senses and return to your husband). Ack! I can't get into it all. I don't have that kind of energy anymore....


Madu said...

I wonder about these Women who make you believe that it is the woman's input ONLY that determines the success of a marriage.
I wonder seriously about them. How do they live? I know they are not telling the whole truth about the matter. You will be surprised to find the things these women hide and allow in their homes and then smile and try and deceive outsiders that everything is honky dory.
I am married to a Nigerian man myself and I have been for a while but I am finding out there is no point locking horns with this women or general Nigerian men. Just siddon look and be quiet...Then DO what you want:)

Ore said...

To each their own, I suppose but on the whole promoting that women need to carry all the weight in a marriage leads to an incredible amount of pressure and stress for women.

Madu said...

It does indeed. Well done on your latest award. It is great that you work on what you are passionate about, actually get it off the ground and get acknowledged for it. Well done again and keep up the good work.

Ore said...

Thank you, Madu! :-)