Thursday, April 06, 2006

The New Handshake

I just came across this article in the NYT asking if the kiss is the new handshake. Not really one to keep track of trends here in Lagos or anywhere else really (afterall they are here today, gone tomorrow and back the day after), I notice that everyone is doing it, but I can't remember when it started or if it is a new thing.

It's most disconcerting for me as I never know what to do. I've always thought that in a male-female situation, men do the kissing. However, when I'm meeting another woman I'm stuck for what to do. If I'm quick to the draw, I usually go in for a hug, or a handshake if I'm meeting them for the first time. If they start to move in first, then I just watch what they are doing and try to follow their lead. But then, what is the rule for how many kisses? Most people do a kiss on each cheek; some just kiss on one cheek. Then I never know if I should do the kissing or simply offer-up my cheek to be kissed. My goodness! It's all so complicated. I think I'm sticking with my hugs and handshakes.

5 comments:

Vixen said...

For me, it depends on how well I know them. I try not to go for the kiss....unless it's unavoidable. Hugs are cool, handshakes perplex me at times. Sooooo complicated!

Just Thinking Out Loud! said...

Hugs and handshakes are good enough for me. All those other ones are just complicated to me - you got to follow leads or give a lead. mehn, too much work...

adefunke said...

If its someone I know well (male or female) we do the kiss on both cheeks or we do a frontal or side hug whichevr one is convenient. I read somewhere that its bad manners for a guy to extend his hand to a woman, so when I am meeting guys I really don't know, I take the lead and offer my hand. If he is just coming form the loo though I hug my bag! If its gals I don't know too well, then I wiggle my fingers at them. Some people irrespective of the relationship come in for the hug, I usually offer my side so as not to seem impolite.

Dilch said...

I don't like the double kiss thing, especially when Nigerians do it. EXCUSE ME.....where are you from again- they definitely don't behave like that in Nnewi

trae_z said...

I think I'm sticking with my hugs and handshakes.

same here girl. for we guys we've been shaking since we were teenagers. i think i've shaked more hands than Bill Clinton. lol. on the real when i'm meeting people it's often a shake. and if it's a real good friend or a long lost one that shake could be explosisve or i move it up and give a big hug. body no be wood you know we love to hug the ladies. but it depends on how familiar we are with them. i don't think i've kissed anyone before as a greeting...i hope it doesn't mean i'm uncivilised. i think that sorta thing is common with Westerners.