Who Says Nigerians Don't Dig Reading?

This was the question posed in Glendora eCulture, the e-Newsletter of Glendora Bookshop. Jazzhole (where the Diana Evans reading was held last Saturday) is part of the Glendora family. And many of my favourite childhood memories include time spent in Glendora picking out my birthday and Christmas books.

It's very exciting to see more of a reading movement in Nigeria. Of course, Nigerians read and always have. However, popular reading material has tended to include books about religion, business and making money; and let's not forget self-help/pop-pyschology books and bestsellers. Some might not consider these to be 'serious' literature (I admit that I kind of do not), but people will read what is of relevance to their lives. And sometimes reading anything period is good, because hopefully it will lead to tackling more ambitious work.

Well, I certainly applaud Glendora's efforts to feed Nigerian's literary hunger. There are two more readings planned for August: Bunmi Oyinsan on the 17th at 5PM with her book Three Women; and Nadine Gordimer on the 27th at 3PM.

2 Weeks to Passing Out

Don't really feel like writing about this, although I have been blogging about it so much all year. Since I am rounding up my NYSC year, everyone has been asking me how it feels, what I will do next, etc. To which I reply "Ecstatic" and "I don't know." Yes, of course I think I know, but who wants to talk about it (at least) once every hour?

This week is filled with a few passing out activities (though in true NYSC fashion, many people are vague on what it all actually means and where we have to be and what will be happening). Next week is mostly rehersals and then the big Passing Out ceremony on Thursday. It feels so much like an anti-climax at this point and it hasn't even happened yet. Ah well, on to new and exciting adventures ahead.

Diana Evans @ Jazzhole

I attended Diana Evans' reading at Jazzhole yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was different from the other readings I've been to, because instead of reading several excerpts from the book, Diana read one long chunk. It was great for me, especially having read the book already. Afterwards there was a Q&A session, which was shaping up to be quite interesting. Then I was called outside to move my car because someone needed to leave (one of the downsides about Lagos is the lack of parking space). After I returned to the store, 1 or 2 more questions were taken and then we had the opportunity to buy the books and get them signed.

I took my copy of 26a with me and Diana signed it. She looks petite in magazines, but appears even more so in real life. She had some great shoes on, which I spotted from my vantage position up close to the 'reading area.' I also adored her hair, which was a huge, gold-hued afro.

Jazzhole is a great setting for any reading, because (well, aside from being a bookshop) it is so cosy and intimate. During readings or in-store performances, chairs are closely-set next to each other and the lights usually dimmed. I love it! After any event, guests of-course can browse their vast book and music collection and many usually purchase something.

I have to say that it's a great thing that Cassava Republic is doing by bringing quality literature to Nigerian readers. Copies of 26a were being sold yesterday for N1,000 apiece. Not bad! CR also have a number of books coming out in the next year. I'm looking forward to reading Teju Cole's novel, based on his trip home last December and his writings, which he published on his blog. This is an example of blogs being a launch-pad to other forms of media and arts i.e. novels, films, plays. So a blog is not just a blog anymore, people!

It was an opportunity to meet the lovely Bibi of CR and Jeremy Weate of naijablog. It's great to meet people who you've interacted with online. It felt like I knew them already. Here's to meeting more online peeps soon.

A Problem Shared with Madame Ono

I enjoy reading the Life supplement that comes with The Guardian every Sunday. However, the low point of the publication for me has to be the advice column with Madam Ono. I like to read advice columns to see what I would do in the position of the person with the problem. I also like to see if I would have given the same advice. There are some advice columnists with whom you feel an immediate sympatico, based on their recommendations and suggestions. There are some others that make you think What the hell???

Madam Ono falls in the latter category - infact, sometimes it's What the *%#@&! hell??????

This week 20-year old Temmy Tunrapee wrote in about her boyfriend's incessant demands for sex. Whenever she has complained about it, her BF tells her that he only plies her with so much pressure because "he is doing that because he loves me. According to him, that is the only way he can show it."

ROFL!!!!! This explanation has to be right up there with You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex; or You can't get pregnant if you have sex standing up; or blue balls.

I expected Madam Ono to tell Temmy off for having her mind on such frivolous matters when she should be facing her studies (as she has been wont to do in the past). To my shock, however, Madam O advices Temmy to "adopt a positive attitude to sex." In short, give in to his constant demands.

First off, Madam O, Temmy is only 20 - a fairly young age and really if her BF loved her that much, he wouldn't pressure her into doing anything that she's not comfortable with. Yes, I know we hear that piece of advice all the time, but I believe that it's absolutely true.

I think "Madam Ono's" advice must come from a different person each week, because her advice is so inconsistent and swings wildly from the very puritanical to the anything-goes mentality. I think the more liberal personas are most likely men, as their advice tends to favour the man in the situation.

I just hope that these poor people who write in have other people in their lives who they can share their problems with because quite frankly Madam Ono's advice frequently falls short of common sense.

Chinua Achebe on BBC's World Book Club

I don't really get much time to listen to online shows like I used to, but I will make time for this: Chinua Achebe reads and talks about his book Things Fall Apart on BBC Online's World Book Club. It's usually a good program with smart questions from the audience and the moderator.

I notice that one of the recent books featured was The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith. Never read any of his books, but people tell me all the time that they are extremely funny. I'm curious to find out more.

Another Anniversary

It occured to me that my last day at my job in Boston was Friday, July 29th. I left Boston on the 4th of August. I'm always so amazed by how rapidly time moves, but this past year has been a really exciting one in many ways. Moving is always slightly nerve-racking; moving countries or continents even more so. I think I crammed quite a bit in the year and I've learnt a lot about myself, what I like, what I can handle (quite a lot, as it turns out). I've learnt to be more patient (I think, though others might disagree). I've discovered talents and strengths that I had only a slight suspicion that I might possess.

So what have been the down-sides, you might ask. Nigeria can be a very frustrating place to live and work, but all in all, it's been a fairly small price for all the things I've gained in return.

One Year of Blogging

Tomorrow, the 31st of July, will mark one year that I have been actively blogging. And they said it wouldn't last. Okay, no one said that. But even I wasn't quite sure if I would find enough to write about, or that people would find my blog worth reading. I also wasn't sure if I could maintain my interest in it for so long. Well, somehow it seems to have worked out okay. Let's see how my blog evolves over the next year....

The Wire is Back!!!!!!!

I'm dog-tired and had promised that this would be an early night for me. But first, I had to go online and check my email, and then my blog aggregator, and before you know it, one thing had led to the other. But it's all good. Infact, it's bloody fantastic!!!!

If you have been reading my blog for a long time (okay, okay, yes I know I have only been blogging for a year but still that's long enough), then you will know that I love The Wire. No, seriously! This show is one of the great loves of my life. You might remember how crazy I went over getting the first 2 seasons on DVD. Now, the news I got this evening via the HBO mailing list I belong to, made me scream. SEASON 3 WILL BE RELEASED ON DVD ON AUGUST 8. Scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, no one should dare tell me that this is only a TV show. I do not want to hear that. I am so excited about this and cannot wait. Anyone who is thinking about what to get me for an early (or very belated) birthday present, or a Happy Summer gift, or a Congratulations on Passing out of NYSC surprise now knows what I would absolutely love.

There are already reviews on Amazon.com, which goes to show that there are lots of other hard-core fans like me. What a happy ending to what has been a stressful week.

Diana Evans Book Reading

A friend just sent me information about this. Cassava Republic will be bringing the writer Diana Evans to Nigeria on a book tour (three Nigerian cities including Aug 5th at Jazzhole and Aug 12th at Silverbird's Media Store).

I read her haunting book 26a a few months ago. The characters (especially Georgia) stayed with me for weeks afterwards.

There is a Nigerian connection, because Diana Evans is partly Nigerian. The protagonists of 26a (Georgia and Bessie) had a Nigerian mother and spent part of their childhood years living in Nigeria. I haven't read many books about mental illnesses, but this book deals with it in a very sensitive and engaging way.

From MA to AL

Finished A Song Flung Up to Heaven in a few hours. It was an easy read, though profound. I'm starting Fruit of the Lemon by Andrea Levy. Hope I like it a lot more than I did Small Island. If I don't like it, I will move on to something else. I no longer believe in trucking through an unenjoyable read.

Meanwhile, I've watched a lot of films since yesterday, courtesy of MNET Movies: Alexander; Princess Diaries 2; One Fine Day; The Recruit; and Pieces of April (on at the moment). I've seen bits of Pieces of April before and it's quite hilarious. Pity, I've got to go to bed NOW because I have work to go to tomorrow.

End of the Vacay

Well, it turned out not to be such a restful week afterall. For some reason, my monthly NYSC clearance was scheduled for Corpers' Week. With my local government being large, the clearance overshadowed the real focus of the week. On Tuesday and Thursday, I tried to get my clearance done eventually suceeding on Friday morning. What a week it was! Now, I can go back to work and get some rest.

Moving on to Maya

Whooooo! I finally finished Bebebebebebebe Moore's Sweet Summer (you need to read it to know). It was such a well-written and poignant book. Very funny too! The very first time I saw it, I passed over it. I can't remember why. I guess I just wasn't in the mood for a memoir at the time.

Bebe Campbell Moore (at least her younger self) just seemed so spunky and full of fun. I will definitely hunt for more of her work.

Now, I'm starting on A Song Flung Up to Heaven by Maya Angelou. This will be the last in her autobiography series for me to read. I stumbled upon her books in the university library about 10 years ago. It's funny, for at least the first year I only associated the library with academic books. One day it occured to me that the same library had to be catering to the Literature students too (duh!) and so I explored. I discovered a veritable treasure of books that had me bucking with excitement. There were books from Commonwealth countries and I discovered "Post-Colonial Literature." For a while, these were the only books I checked out. I especially enjoyed books by Caribbean authors, because until then, I had not read much from that part of the world.

And then one day, I found I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. I tore through the library's Maya Angelou collection after that. My favourite was (and still is) All God's Children Need Travelling Shoes. Let's see if this one beats that.

Oh, I just checked and realised that I haven't read The Heart of a Woman, so I still have one more in the series to go after Song.

Jude Law - What's the Fuss?

Like Stevie Wonder asked "What the fuss?" or something.... Alfie is on MNET at the moment. I've seen it before, so I'm not really watching it. But what I am doing is trying to figure out why Jude Law is considered such a sex symbol. It's kind of beyond me. He looks short on screen, though I guess in real life he's probably taller than he appears. He's waifish looking. I could go on. I don't get it.

Meanwhile, Nia Long is positively incandescent. Omar Epps looks good too, though he always seems to get the slightly-clueless-or-not-quite-living-up-to-potential-hot-looking-guy roles.

NB: How was Alfie able to survive the artic temperatures of a Northeast winter going about the streets of NYC in little more than a blazer and a scarf? Doesn't even look like he owns a pair of gloves!

A Week of Rest

This week is Corpers' Week. It should be a week of actvities for youth corpers. I know that being NYSC, things will not go as planned. Today, for instance, was supposed to be the official kick-off with corpers from my LGA (as well as some other LGAs) to meet at City Hall. After signing in, it was pretty much ado about nothing.

So, I'm taking this week as a mini-vacay. After taking care of NYSC stuff in the morning, I plan on getting important errands done and resting. Maybe I can FINALLY finish the Bebe Moore Campbell book. I recently started buying newspapers (This Day and Guardian) everyday and this week I will be able to do more reading and less skimming.

Bebe Moore Campbell

Like you know, I love to write about what I'm reading (currently Sweet Summer: Growing Up With and Without My Dad by Bebe Moore Campbell). Today though, I don't really want to write about the book, as I'm still reading it. I do want to say how much I really enjoy Bebe Moore Campbell's writing. The first book of hers I read was many years ago, a book called Brothers and Sisters. I loved it and would actually like to re-read it to see if I still enjoy it as much as I did back then. Then I read Singing in the Comeback Choir, which was okay but not great. Next came What You Owe Me, courtesy of my sister. This was enjoyable in a very bestseller-ish type of way.

Now, I'm reading Sweet Summer: Growing Up With and Without My Dad, which I'm really enjoying (Nevermind the fact that I've been on it like forever - it's just no time.... you know how that goes). Next, (or rather, when I'm allowing myself to start buying books again), I would like to get Your Blues Ain't Like Mine.

My Love Affair with the Internet

Just realized that I have had my blog up for almost a year (it will be 1 year exactly on the 31st). Who knew it would last so long? It was meant primarily to be a way of keeping in touch with my friends in the US after I left, but it has evolved into so much more. Or so I’d like to think (ha!).

The rise in the popularity of blogging reminds me of a period around the late 1990s to early 2000s when it felt like everyone had a website. The availability of free web hosts and easy-to-use tools like those on Tripod and Geocities meant that everyone and their grandmother could have a web presence. Many people did, though not a lot of the websites (IMHO) were much good. Still it was a lot of fun to read peoples’ stories and see photos of their friends and families. I linked-up with a few long-lost friends through these personal sites. I got my own personal home internet connection for the first time in 2000 when I moved to Boston and I went totally crazy. Most of my time (outside of school and work) was spent physically in my bedroom, but in reality miles away somewhere in cyberspace.

I devoured all the personal websites I found, eagerly scoured their favourite links and gobbled those up too. I start frequenting discussion boards (perhaps my social downfall?). My favourite was on a website called ChickClick and it was really my home away from home. It was a sad day when they closed down. I stayed up late so many nights, not because I couldn't sleep but because I could not tear myself away from my computer. I kept saying "I'll check just one more page." Before I knew it, I had been up almost all night with just a few hours before I had to get to work. When my friend Y told me that her sister was going through the same thing, I TOTALLY understood.

Over time though, after the initial excitement had long died down, many of these sites fell into a gradual state of stasis and eventually disappeared altogether. I suspect the same thing will happen with many of the blogs around. Blogging is also, of course, evolving. I know many people think of it as a frivolous waste of time, but they perhaps aren’t thinking about how it can be adapted for use in a myriad of collaborative learning experiences. In some Western countries, teachers use blogs to discuss homework or classroom teachings with students. Blogs are also used by teachers to keep parents updated on what is being taught in the class. I’m pretty excited about the possibilities that the future will bring, not just for blogging but also for online collaborative learning.

Busy, busy

Feels like a long time since I last blogged from work. Our internet connection has been very patchy. Infact, you can’t really call it a service. It could be off for most of the day and come on about an hour before the close of business. 'It' (like it has a mind of its own) also has a wily habit of being off from the moment we start work, but comes back on just about the same time that my boss is getting into the office (it’s very strange that .....). So when we are constantly saying that we have not been able to do this, that or the other because the connection has been down, it starts to look a mite suspicious.

NYSC is almost over – thank God!!!!!! I enjoyed it in many ways, but it has also been quite stressful and I’m looking forward to that phase of my life being over. I’m sure in a few years time, I’ll hardly remember it, so much so that I will wonder if I actually did it. Work has also been fairly busy too. Sometimes it feels like I’m juggling so many things and am in an almost constant harried state of mind. This is very different from the public face I put on things, which is a mostly calm demeanor. Inside, however, I’m going crazy with all the things I have to do.

So, as you can see there’s a lot happening, but not that much that I want to blog about. Just felt like writing.

Where Art Thou, O PHCN?

This is getting quite ridiculous. The power situation has certainly worsened in recent months. Now, PHCN supplies electricity for maybe about 40 mins a day - if we are lucky. And I know that we are one of the more fortunate ones.

Loving the Gym

I've made a habit of going to the gym now on workday evenings and I have to say that I am loving it. I typically don't like to be out after work, but for the gym, I am willing to rethink this. I get a high from working out and I enjoy the camaraderie borne out of pain that I share with fellow gymmers in Alona's body conditioning class or Elijah's unbelievably high-impact Step classes.

I went to check out the other gym in Eko Hotel with a friend. Very nice and plush but they are currently not accepting any new members. Okaaaay!

I Miss My iPod

How can this be? I didn't even have the thing for that long. I still hadn't finished uploading all my songs onto it (Oh yes, I was a big CD buyer back in the day. These days, I'm hardly moved to buy entire albums of anybodys.)

Time for a Transition?

It's so funny - while most people probably see the start of the calendar year (January) as a time for making changes, resolutions and the end of one phase of your life and the start of another, for me January is almost just another month. For me, the real transition period is around July, August and September. This is partly borne of a lingering being-in-school mentality (the new academic year starts between August and September). Also in the northern hemisphere, this period marks a big transition from hot weather to cold.

Around this time, I start to get fidgety and think about what I have done with the last year of my life and what I intend to do with the one that lies ahead. I start to think about going back to school or changing jobs or moving countries. It was about this time last year that I started to make the move back home from the States (I moved back in August). I am amazed that a year can go by so quickly. It's great that time has flown by - it must mean that I'm having a good time. It's also very scary that so much time can zip by so quickly.

Now, I'm thinking about what lies ahead. I really do want to go back to school. I've been wanting this for a long time and every summer I think seriously about whether this should be the year to do it or not. I know quite a few people going back for graduate degrees and I envy them their new adventure. I don't know. How do you plan for all the things that you want to do in your life and fit them all in? I've done an incredible amount this year and am happy about that, and I know that there's no perfect time for most things. You just have to make the decision and go.

The Namesake

Angela blogged about the upcoming movie adaptation of the book The Namesake a while ago, but I just got around to watching the trailer. It's hard to tell from the trailer how true to the book the film will be (trailers always seem to feature the same swelling, melodramatic music and the plot - simple though it might be - is always so stirring). The film appears to be largely set in NYC, though the Ganguli family in the book lived in the Boston area. One change already, though possibly a minor one.

I loved the book and I think (hope) I will really enjoy this film, because it explores feelings of searching for your own identity, even though a cultural and social identity has already been ascribed to you. Can't wait!

Extras

Wow, the days have been busy. I got Seasons 3 and 4 of The Shield (one of my new favourite shows) over a month ago and I still haven't finished Season 3. That's quite a sign of busyness. I did have time to discover a new (or maybe not) show called Extras. It's a BBC production, which centers around an actor played by Ricky Gervais (he calls himself an actor, while others snippingly refer to him as an extra).

It's funny as hell! I've heard so much praise for Ricky Gervais and The Office. Never seen The Office and until a few days ago, I could care less. Now, I'm curious. As I watched Extras, I realised how much I LOVE and missed British humour (what with all the American programs I've been watching in recent years). But Extras has a lot of those same butt-clenchingly embarassing but absolutely hilarious situations that Larry of The Larry Sanders Show and Larry David of Curb Your Enthusiasm (two shows that I really liked) got themselves into. So maybe it's not so much a cultural thing.

Guilty Pleasures

What's with the things that we secretly enjoy, though we feel like we shouldn't (or we really shouldn't)? I have quite a few: spending the large chunk of a day reading when I feel that I should be doing something more 'productive'; eating after 10pm; staying up late when I really should be getting my much needed rest for the next day; watching films at home (again, I feel like I should be doing something more worthwhile); splurging on something nice for myself (my frugal side feels that I should save and spend on needs, not wants). Hmmmm, I think I'm starting to see a pattern here. I feel like I should always be engaged in some productive activity.

Anyway, the latest are books that I read when I was a teenager. I have always been a big reader and have always tended to read what I like, paying no attention to genre. So, maybe I'm merely reading books whose stories capture my interest. I don't know.... A couple of months or so ago, I picked-up some Sweet Dreams books. I thought they were silly and fluffy. But, here I am a few months later reading another one - Rocky Romance about a budding romance set in ...... oh, wait for it ..... the Rockies (Canadian mountain). Well, I guess this phase will soon pass.

My other guilty pleasure has for a while been my iPod. A guilty pleasure because I swore I would never buy into the hype of cool created by some very clever marketing team. Until I tried it out and discovered that the iPod was actually quite a cool gadget. Aside from the fact that it works very well, it has such a sleek design.

The one not-so-cool thing that I had heard about iPods was that they don't have a very long shelf live. And oh, did I find that out the hard way. My iPod is no more! When I try to start it up, it makes this sad, whirring noise like it's desperately trying to come alive but, due to forces stronger than itself, it cannot. I'm sad especially since I hadn't owned it for that long, but at the end of the day it's just a gadget and life can go on without it. But, now I'm wondering if this is the dark side of the iPod. It looks so gorgeous and works so well initially. By the time, you are totally hooked, it goes kaput on you. And like the personal music/video fiend that you have now become, you run out to buy another one. LOL! Maybe that's a better business plan than giving your consumers products that work so well that they have no need to buy another one for years.

Abeokuta

I went to Abeokuta yesterday. Ogun state might be right next to Lagos, but it feels like it's worlds apart. Sure it's a much smaller state and Abeokuta also a much smaller city, but it's so peaceful. Driving around the city was very relaxing and almost a surreal experience after Lagos's chaotic traffic and drivers. I used to think of Abeokuta as a small sleepy town and, in many respectives it might be, but after the hustle and bustle of Lagos, I could do with some peace and quiet.

I remember when I used to say that I could not imagine life outside of Lagos. Well, now I can. No, I can't really envisage moving to Abeokuta either (though you never know ....) but sometimes it feels like the cachet of living in Nigeria's most happening city is not sufficient compensation for all the traffic, noise, pollution and general chaos you get in return.

AfriGadget

Heard about this blog - AfriGadget, which highlights how various technologies are being used to solve a myriad of problems on the African continent. There are also tutorials should you want to build the tool yourself. Appropriate technology at its best.

Confessions of a Book Addict

Last night my sister pointed out to me that I have said many times that I am not going to buy any more books until I have finished the ones that I already have. And why did she have to remind me of this vow? Yes, you guessed it! I went out and bought two books yesterday. I've pretty much given-up on that vow. In fact, I don't know why I still say it. Maybe in the far reaches of my mind, I actually think that I will be able to hold my book-buying impulses in check and resist the call of new books anytime I step into a bookshop.

I'm quite good whenever I go to Nu Metro at the Silverbird Galleria. Nu Metro, and many other shops, wrap-up their books and magazines in clear cellophane so that you cannot flip through the books leaving your grubby little paw-prints all over it and creasing the covers in the process. I guess from a business person's point of view, this makes good sense afterall who is going to buy a supposedly 'new' book that looks like it's gone through ten different owners? But, from the same business p.o.v, it makes sense to give the buyers a taste of what they'd be getting. Even if they decide to wrap-up most of the books, they might consider leaving one copy unwrapped so that buyers can flip through and decide if it's something that they'd be interested in. Since many bookshops do not tend to stock many copies of each book, perhaps this would not be feasible.

The other fear of booksellers, of course, is that you will read the whole book/magazine in the store and not need to buy it afterwards. Sorry, but isn't this part of the draw of bookshops? I've spent many happy hours in bookshops reading whole books that I had absolutely no intention of buying. However, chances were that the longer I was in the store and encouraged to return, the more I likely I was to buy books from there. So, what's the lesson here? I guess it is that you have to spend money to get money. Okay, perhaps easier said than done from a profit-making p.o.v especially in Nigeria's tough economic climate. But, just my 2 kobo both as a book-lover and someone who has extensive experience working in bookshops.

So yesterday when I visited bookshops (Bookworm and Quintessence) that did not wrap their books up, I of course perused away to my heart's content and ended-up buying books in both shops. Quintessence has a great selection of Nigerian books for children, in case you are interested. So does Nu Metro, in all fairness, and you might even be able to flip through them. Bookworm has expanded it's store area, with fiction in the first room and non-fiction in the adjoining room. There's also a seating area. Very good, Bookworm!

Oh, I didn't mention my new books. They are Sweet Summer: Growing Up With and Without My Dad by Bebe Moore Campbell and Defying the Odds: Case Studies of Nigerian Organisations That Have Survived Generations by the youth and business leadership NGO, LEAP Africa. I have already read most of Defying the Odds and it's a very interesting read and provides very good guidelines for family businesses that tend to wither away after the founder dies or leaves the business. I can't wait to start Sweet Summer. Hmmm, maybe I'll hold off on Great Expectations for now. Oh, I don't know. I'll figure it out.

A Night at the Gym

I decided to go to the gym last night. I never go to the gym during the week. I have a thing about being out late on a work night. I like to come home straight from work and stay in for the rest of the night. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's a left-over from Boston winter nights when it was all I could do to get from the office building to my car in the freezing cold, taking care not to slip on any of the icy patches in my mad dash for warmth.

Or maybe not. Lagos traffic is crazy. On the way to my house, it builds up the later you stay out up till a certain time, after which it starts to subside.

Anyway, so I decided to go the gym. Normally I like to work out to DVDs or tapes at home, but lately I've grown bored of this and so have done nothing. The only time I'd visit the gym was on Saturday mornings. On the urging of one of my fellow gymmers, I decided to go more. She promised me that it would be fun. I'd get my much needed work-out and the traffic home wouldn't be so bad.

So I did. Wow, so many people work out. I had NO IDEA! I feel so ignorant. Well, how was I to know? On Saturday mornings, it's fairly quiet with about 4 to 5 people in my aerobics class. Last night, I could not even count all the people in the Step/Kick-boxing class. The patrons extended all the way to the back of the aerobics area - this does NOT happen on Saturdays. Well, I guess I can see why. These people all work out so faithfully during the week that they need to rest on Saturdays. I felt like such a lazy cow.

Nigerians have always been a very image-conscious people, though we don't tend to suffer from many of the same body image issues as Westerners. In recent years though, it's become increasingly fashionable for women to be slim. However, it's still been okay for men to sport huge, distended bellies (it's a sign of good living and that their wives are taking good care of them). I guess this is changing now? Or maybe not. I don't know. I guess there are people who have always been into fitness and not part of any new fad that might be sweeping the nation - afterall, I've always loved working out even when I was as skinny as a rake.

Zadie Smith Wins Orange Prize

The author Zadie Smith has won this year's Orange Prize for women for her third book On Beauty.

I haven't read this book yet, but heard that it's very good. My brother, who has a copy, believed that I would really enjoy it. I have taken a stab at one of Zadie's books, White Teeth, and for some reason I really couldn't get into it. I look forward to reading this one.

You can read the full coverage and see what books made the short and long lists. The thought of new books to read always gets me excited.

Longing For a Holiday

I'm in the mood for a holiday. I’m not quite sure why now? Well actually, I have a few ideas. When I was in Boston, summer was considered holiday time. Even though technically, you could take your vacations anytime of the year, most people would take at least one break during the summer. The pace of work at the office also slowed down. There was a wonderfully languid mood in the office, as people seemed to talk and walk much slower. Deadlines were pushed back and much of the serious work was postponed till fall when many people would have returned from their various holidays bringing the serious air back with them.

I was entitled to fifteen business days off per year, which amounts to three weeks. This was quite good in the US, where many people (at my level anyway) got two weeks and in some cases one. In Nigeria, it seems that many people I know are entitled to as much as six weeks, which they always never seem to get.

One weird thing I’ve noticed about Nigeria is how when people are lucky enough to get time off, they take all their vacation time at once. I cannot imagine taking six weeks off at once, except I wanted to travel somewhere very far away. I think that it’s too much and I know I’d be bored or tired of it after about two weeks. Maybe that’s another reason why it’s so hard to get employers to approve vacation time – because they know they’ll be losing manpower for about month and a half.

Anyway, back to my desire for a vacation. It’ll probably take a few years before I stop associating this time of year with summer breaks. But in the meantime, I really want to take off somewhere and spend my days eating and reading. I have so many books to catch-up on before I can start buying new books (this is working quite well, btw. I’m steadily working my way through my library). I want to start Charles Dicken’s Great Expectations next or perhaps one of my many and still un-read Doris Lessing Books. I want to save the really thick ones for when I am on vacation. I started The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing in 2001 and I’m still not a quarter of the way through. I gave up and decided that I could not keep going back to see who was who and what their story was anymore. I’ll just wait until I have more time. I’m also going to wait to start Vanity Fair by William Thackeray. I can’t wait! But, when will I get this huge, delicious block of time? It gets harder the older you get. Perhaps I just need to be more disciplined about sneaking in reading into my spare minutes.

Countries I Have Visited

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

Saw this tool in action on tuckergurl’s blog and decided to try it out. I have only visited 6% of the world’s countries, though the map might make it look like more. Cities I have visited might have been more accurate since this map presents a somewhat misleading picture. For instance, in Russia I have only been to St. Petersburg but as you can see a large expanse of land is covered. Same with the US.

My record of African countries visited is truly woeful, but that is only a perfect excuse to travel. And goodness knows that as it is, I really don’t need one.

Try out the tool for yourself.

A-Z Meme

Oh no! Tagged by Pilgrimage to Self. Here are my answers:

Accent – I would say Nigerian
Booze – None really. Alcohol makes me sleepy.
Chore I hate – Ironing
Dogs/Cats – Definitely Devoted, Dutiful, Delightful, Doe-eyed Dogs!!!!!
Essential electronics – Laptop, iPod, Digital Camera
Favourite Perfume – For Her by Narcisso Rodriguez
Gold/Silver – Used to be silver. Now it's gold.
Hometown – Abeokuta really, but feels more like Lagos
Insomnia – Never
Job Title – Training Coordinator
Kids – Always wanted four. Now, I'm not so sure.
Living arrangements – Family home
Most admired trait – Mine??? You better ask people who know me well.
Number of sexual partners – LOL!!! Unimpressive.
Overnight hospital stays – None
Phobia – Peacocks, though I'm not sure that could be classified as a phobia. Unreasonable fear, perhaps.
Quote – "Do not follow where a path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Religion – Christian
Siblings – One brother and one sister
Time I usually awake – 6 am
Unusual talent – Not sure. Let me think about this.
Vegetable I refuse to eat – Pumpkin
Worst habit – Don't know about worst, but compulsively scratching my insect bites till they bleed and leave huge scars is pretty gross.
X-rays – Quite a few for the pre-requisite school medicals. Also had as part of annual physicals.
Yummy foods I make – Haven't cooked in a long while, but used to love to make sponge and rum cakes, fried rice, spicy pork chops, coconut rice and groundnut soup, puff puff, salmon and vegetables.
Zodiac sign – Proud Sagittarius

Feminist Dating in a Patriarchal World

I listened to this hilarious podcast last night about a woman and her quest for 'the one'. I'm sure that we all read about women's dating travails on an almost daily basis, so what made this story so different? Well, the narrator was a feminist and many of the arguments she got into with her dates were so reminiscent of many of the fights I used to have. Growing up, I didn't have a clue what feminism was. In Nigeria, it was still referred to as "women's lib", and no, it wasn't all that long ago. I did know that I wanted an equitable partnership with my significant other, which is not the same as equal. Equal, to me denotes, that we would split all tasks evenly and that we would each give and take just as much as the other person. I don't think any relationship is equal in that sense. But, I wanted to be treated fairly and not accorded a certain status or roles because of my gender.

When you are getting to know someone (or perhaps I should say when I am getting to know someone), I want to find out what makes them tick as soon as possible to make sure that I am not wasting my time with someone who I would be utterly incompatible with. So invariably out comes the BS detector and the barrage of questions start. Would you want your wife to work? What are you looking for in a woman? Do you think that the woman should do all the housework? Really, and you expect her to hold down a full-time job? How? Do you plan on splitting the housework with your wife? Do you think that the man is the head of the household? Do you expect your girlfriend/wife to submit to you?
Yes, I know, talk about unsubtle.

Somehow, this police cell style interrogation never yielded really positive results. The guy would think I was crazy and I would think that he was a Neanderthal.

Overtime though, you tend to mellow out. It does not mean that you still do not hold your principles dear, but you are less judgemental about other peoples' questioning of them. The same thing happened with the story's narrator. She did find someone who wasn't threatened by her beliefs, but who wasn't afraid to challenge them either. They did have their occasional fighting matches, but no relationship is perfect.

Last night I was reading the new issue of Genevieve. One of the articles asks women what they want from life: marriage; career; both; neither? I don’t know if they just happened to pool a very unusual set of women. They all wanted both (and not just because of financially motivations either). Most wanted to get married at some point, but were cool if it didn’t happen. This was unusual for me to hear. The (still) common idea of Nigerian women is that they care very much about marriage, want it badly and, after a certain age, would pounce on a man, any man as long as he is still breathing, okay looking, has an okay job and all limbs intact. And although things are changing, I think this way of thinking still prevails. Understandably, I suppose, with society’s incredibly strong pressure towards 'traditional' norms like marriage and family.

So what to do when you do want to be with someone but have principles that you cannot compromise? Well, that’s a really difficult question to answer. Life is messy and complicated and frankly we all have to compromise at some point or the other. For me, I’m finding that chilling out a bit and seeing what someone has to offer without tearing apart their every word and action in order to reveal its hidden meaning works (and not to mention, kinder on my stress level).

Youth Empowerment Forum for Digital Revolution

A forum for youths was organised in Lagos two weeks ago by Zenith Bank. The forum took place on the last day of CTO 2006, an annual event organised by the US Commercial Service Lagos. The event has become one of the most prominent computer fairs since its inception. I was able to attend the computer fair on one of the days. MUSON's Shell Hall was filled with stands for various vendors and service providers. It was quite impressive. You could also check your email at the My Netcom stand, after listening to their sales pitch no doubt.

The Youth Empowerment Forum for Digital Revolution was open for youths aged 13 to 25 and was Zenith's contribution to bridging the digital divide by exposing youths early on to ICTs (information & communication technology). Jim Ovia, the CEO of Zenith Bank, encouraged the youths present to become more familiar with technology and to learn how ICTs can be used to help grow businesses. Basically, "knowing technology can yield financial benefits", which is a smart way to motivate young people living in a developing country.

Read more about the youth forum.

Then, I read about a group of student entrepreneurs from the University of Lagos called iVEN (Innovative Entrepreneurs Network), who were the official CTO bloggers providing hourly coverage of each day's activities. They were apparently the toast of the media and all present. I haven't yet seen their blog for the CTO, but I was able to check out their own blog Unilag Faces.

Sister, Relaxer is Not By Force...

What is this I read in last Sunday's This Day newspaper? The paper has a weekly hair column, which appears on Sundays called Hair Affair with Angel. Although, I tend to either disagree with much of what I read about hair care in Nigerian publications or have heard it so often that it's nothing new, I enjoy reading Angel's column. This title caught my attention and so I went on to read the article.

Angel starts off:

"There is no law that says your hair must be relaxed before it can be beautiful. You must bear in mind that most women do not hit 50 years with a full head of hair, and the reasons for this are many."

What?????? I am knocked slightly off balance from reading this in a Nigerian paper. Okay, perhaps I am being slightly un-generous, afterall I do see a few younger people going natural, but relaxed hair is still very much the norm.

She then goes on to outline some reasons for women losing their hair prematurely:

• Some women have sensitive scalps or conditions like psoriasis or seborrhea which are exacerbated by relaxer applications


• Naturally thin hair will be made even thinner with regular use of strong chemicals


• Consistent stress and abuse will eventually make your hair pack-up shop and decide on go on a permanent holiday


• As we grow older, our hair will naturally become thinner. Hormonal changes like those resulting from pregnancy and menopause also affect hair volume.

Angel goes on to say that locs and short cuts are not the only natural hair styling options (I was reeling from disbelief by the time I read this). However, the only other style option she mentions is braiding with hair extensions.

Overall, a good write-up and a much needed wake-up call for women with seriously thinning hair.

Youths Obey the Clarion Call - With Some Civility Please!!!!!

Just got back from my CD (community development day) a while ago. And like most weeks, I returned tired. Not physically, but mentally fatigued. Every week, the inability of Nigerians to do things in the simplest and most efficient manner amazes me. A biggie is forming queues. I think many people have either never heard of a queue or are vaguely familiar with the concept but find it incompatible with their very nature (or something.......).

Things like getting our CD cards signed each week would take a much shorter time if we were able to form queues and just bloody get on with it. Instead one line becomes two, as people not on it attempt to merge with the current line or form their own. The worst is when we try to form multiple lines in order to ....ahem..... "speed things up." People finagle their way in-between the 'lines' and before you know it, what we have is a sea of people with no beginning and no end. Woe betide you if you think (justifiably perhaps) that you are on the correct line and will get attended to in due course! My friend, you better wake-up and shine your eye. Getting anywhere involves much pushing (yourself forward as much as you can) and shoving (of others out of your way) and tough-talking (to limit the number of people who will seep into the 'line' just ahead of you).

Men, I don tire!!!

Today was supposed to be our monthly general CD (please don't ask me what this is and how it is different from our regular CD, for I would not be able to give you a straight or concise answer). Instead we were asked to come to City Hall (a seat of local government, which has fallen into a dire state of disrepair, btw) for a head-count . After struggling to get my name ticked off a list of my local government corpers, I felt a great sense of satisfaction. I had joined the line and been attended to in due course, unlike those shameless people attempting to infiltrate the line from the sides. However, I knew that there had to be more to the day. If what should be a simple experience can be transformed into an arduous and difficult one, surely NYSC would find a way to do it.

Sure they did! The real head-count started a couple of hours later. My local government area (LGA) showed itself to be the quintessence of uncouth behaviour (I was so ashamed). While other LGA corpers lined-up in a somewhat civilised manner (and this is good, because total civility does not exist - please let me know if you find it), my LGA was so unruly that several times the officials doing the count abandoned their post and took off. Of course, they were followed closely by corpers pleading with them. As soon as they set-up in a new location, much the same thing would happen again. And in so doing, we actually got a nice tour of the City Hall grounds.

Eventually, leaned up (or pinned) against a car, one of the officials was convinced to give us (yet) another chance. He did and finally I got counted. After much pushing, shoving and tough-talking of course, but now I know that to be par the course.

Quiet Night In

This weekend is shaping up to be a busy one for me. The great thing is that Monday is (yet another!!!) public holiday - Democracy Day. I had no idea about this one until my BFF mentioned it to me. This would have been a holiday (Memorial Day) weekend in the States too!

Tonight though, I am going to relax (once I get offline of-course :-) ). I have 3 magazines at the ready: my fave Essence (yes, I know, I know ..... I complain about it quite regularly, but I love it still); Black Beauty (a British hair and beauty mag. Not sure why I bought it, as it features mostly permed hairstyles) and Marie Claire (one of the few of the popular women's glossies that I can read).

The new issue of Essence features the beautiful and very talented actress Kimberly Elise on the cover. She seems to have been in every other film in the past year. I'm happy for her, because I think she's a very talented actress. For years, though, I wondered why she only got the 'crying women' roles. Seems like directors are sitting up and really taking notice of her now.

Back From the Brink

And indeed that's how I feel. These last few weeks have been extremely busy for me and the last week was an absolute killer. Lots of jam-packed days and late nights at work. At work we have been organising a career awareness day for secondary school students. That happened yesterday and went really, really well. The students seemed to enjoy all the talks and the film shows, and their teachers and guidance counsellors LOVED us for organising something like this. There were times that my boss didn’t think anyone would turn up, but I knew they would. I mean, it would be a rewarding experience and it was also FREE!!!! I always had a feeling that my work would somehow involve children or youths, and it certainly seems to be turning out that way.

This was the first event that I have ever really organised and it’s a weird feeling. For weeks, you are steadily and sometimes frenetically preparing for this one event. And then, it’s all over. The great thing is that now I have contact info for lots of souvenir makers, caterers, drinks suppliers and decorators. I know quite a few of the venues used in Lagos for hosting large crowds, their pros, cons and prices. I believe that I can whip-up another event within days if need be (wow, supremely confident me).

Over the weekend, I had a really bad cold. It's funny. I never fall ill. I only suffer from dire colds (okay, colds are an illness too, I realise). My colds totally knock me out and so I was literally in bed blowing my nose (and feeling very sorry for myself) all weekend long until my stomach ached from too much blowing. I had no desire or energy to do anything.

I did finish the book, Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, that I was reading. I really enjoyed it. It was the first book I read by him and the narrative style was interesting. One incident just flowed into another in a very chatty style, like when you’re talking to a friend and your conversation just dances all over the place, but you still find your way back to the original topic or point you were trying to make. The seriousness of the subject matter (cloning) was belied by the very casual tone of the narrator. Maybe I’ll write more about it later.

Rainy Season in Full Effect

It was always so funny when I was in England and in the States, and people would ask me how many seasons we had in Nigeria and I would answer "Two! Rainy season and dry season." And the temperature stays pretty much within the same range and we wear the same clothes all through the year.

Well, I always thought this was completely the case anyway. We have had some heavy rainfall over the last few weeks. This week, though, it's rained virtually everyday, and I guess we can say that the rainy season has truly begun. Minor inconveniences aside, I am loving it so far. What I don't like about the wet season: more mosquitoes; more traffic; I always want to be at home in bed; I feel very lethargic. What I love? The weather! I haven't sweated since last Friday.

Living Your Dreams

I was tired today at work and swore that I would come home and crash right into my bed. Of course, I had a sneaky feeling that things would not play out quite like that - least of all, because I'm a night person.

I was watching Today's Woman with Adesuwa Oyenokwe and felt compelled to write something about her. She's featured regularly in a lot of magazines and newspapers here, so I read about the wonderful work that she's been doing over the years in media and for empowering women (ok, that word is so over-used, I need to dig out my thesaraus and find suitable alternatives).

Her show this evening featured a young woman (I think her name is Bolanle Makanju) who ministers to young prostitutes. While some of the prostitutes are touched by her interest in them, many more regard her with scepticsm and try to take advantage of her kindness. Adesuwa pointed out that as a single 31-year old woman, her work was probably affecting her chances of getting married (sadly in Nigeria this is probably true). Bolanle was unperturbed and expressed a belief that things would happen as ordained by God.

Bolanle is so obviously doing something that matters to her. It might present some inconveniences in her life, but those appear to be nothing compared to the sense of fulfillment that her work gives her. And how many people can say the same? Going to a job that you might be indifferent to or even hate just because it's too hard to get out of that comfort zone is something that so many do.

Adesuwa Oyenokwe is another example of someone doing what she loves. And she has been at it for a long time with the meagre financial security that comes with a job at the National Television Authority (NTA). My sister, who worked with her for a while, talked about the exhorbitant fees independent producers have to pay to the TV stations (NTA is a big example) to buy air-time for their shows. To make things worse, the station reduces the show's advert time making it harder for them to pay for their air-time by selling advertising space. And then even worse, the station charges far less for their own advert spaces than they allow independent producers to charge for theirs. To me, it looks like they are saying that they don't want any shows on their network that aren't made by them, which is crazy. These other (non-NTA produced) shows like Today's Woman and New Dawn add so much diversity to a network that used to be in such stasis.

To persist in the struggle against what are obviously really didfficult working conditions is incredibly laudable. The work and achievements of women like Adesuwa O. and Funmi Iyanda are pretty well-known, but there are so many others like Bolanle Makanju whose work hasn't or will never garner so much attention. Yet they continue to pursue their passions.

Flooding in Massachusetts

Just read about the floods in my former 'hood, New England. While I was living in Boston, I thought that the weather in the north-eastern part of the US was comparatively 'safer' than the rest of the country. Sure we had unbelievably harsh winters (nothing compared to Canada though, as I later found out. I thought I had died and gone straight to a twilight zone version of hell). But snowstorms and blizzards aside, the rest of the year actually saw some really nice weather (balmy springs, lush summers and crispy autumns). And we didn't have tornadoes, typhoons, earthquakes or forest fires.

The flooding has badly affected the northern suburbs of Boston, as well as parts of the neighboring states of Maine and New Hampshire. It's also led to something many children love - no school!

I remember some really bad snowstorms that happened while I was still in Boston. I loved having 'snow days' when I could stay at home, curl up in front of the TV and eat up a storm in my warm and cosy apartment. I hated, hated, hated having to dig my car out of 4 feet of snow and clear out my driveway. This was one of the few times I bitterly regretted living alone. It also made me think about elderly people who lived alone and wonder how they coped.

Over 200 Die in Pipeline Fire

Over 200 people died in an explosion this morning in Ilado, an island about 30 miles east of Lagos. It was believed that the victims were siphoning fuel from a petrol pipeline when it exploded killing all the people within 20 metres.

Over the last few days, there has been a fuel scarcity with queues of cars forming outside many petrol stations. I wonder if fuel really was scarce, as it seemed that whenever I drove past a pretol station they seemed to be attending to customers. I wondered if it was just one of those rumours that spread and became 'fact' with people thinking that there really was a shortage. Anyway, it has since abated.

Read more: BBC, MSN

Information Overload

I am seriously suffering from this. I wonder how people can manage to keep on top of all the things happening in the world. Yes, I know that it is easier than ever to get access to breaking news with 24-hour news stations and the Internet. Then of-course there are the more traditional media like newspapers and radios.

For me though, this choice is a big part of the problem. Having more sources of information (and channels where news can be disseminated rapidly and continuously) means MORE NEWS. More news to keep track of and it all moves so fast. Argh! This would be super-duper exciting if I had no job, but since I do I struggle to find the time to follow news items.

I probably get the most info on the Internet. I scan a few news sites and catch the jist of the story, but no time for in-depth reading and musing of the real issues. I download countless podcasts, but where's the time to listen to them? I get some news on the radio on my way to work, though I'm usually torn between that or listening to Dan Foster on Cool FM (I did find this quite cool morning news show on Star 101/103.something FM), and very occasionally from news programs on TV (I hardly watch TV these days, but try to while I'm getting ready for work). As for the time to read newspapers - forget it! Only on Sundays.

So the end result is that I'm constantly feeling like an ignoramus. Oh well, I'm doing my best, I really am. And I know more than a few people like me.

(Link to BBC story on how young people in 10 countries are getting their news)

Help! I've Been Blogged!

Most bloggers write about one or more aspects of their life. For some bloggers, their life is the main fodder for their posts. I could never get so intimate in such a public setting but I love to read the blogs of people who can. I read this article ('Help! I've Been Blogged!') on MSN.com and I thought about all the blogs I've read chronicling the writers' dating or sex life. Oh, to be so bold.

My Dream Job

Another great challenge from Pilgrimage – this one on my ideal job. This is something that I think about often, so I looked forward to writing about this.

In my profile I write about two things that I really want to do: travel the world; and run an NGO devoted to empowering women and girls to use technology more. My ideal job would combine both.

I volunteered for a few Community Technology Centers (CTCs) in Boston. The first one I was at was based within a women’s shelter and I helped teach basic computer appreciation classes. I also provided assistance to the women and their kids on any problems they had using the computers in the lab (I learnt a lot). The CTC I volunteered with the longest had a more structured program of classes with a few hours where local residents could walk-in to use the labs. I taught several classes here and spent much more time there than I really needed to. The center staff became like an extended family, of sorts.

My CTC would offer a wide variety of classes from introduction to computers, using common software packages to more complex programming classes, learning to take apart computers and troubleshoot problems. I would probably also explore newer and interactive technologies like blogs, creating podcasts and other content for the web. Knowing how to use the technology is a small part of the big picture. Being able to correctly identify your needs and research your options in order to decide on the best tool for what you are tying to achieve is also very important. So, we would want to help develop more critical thinking skills too.

Of course, I would love to be RICH from doing this too, but development work is not really an area one would go in for money and I am somewhat cool with that. If I can make lots and lots of money from consultancy and training, that would be even better (well, this is my dream job, so let me go all the way).

I love to travel and so going around Nigeria and to other parts of the world to do consultancy work, present at conferences and on learning expeditions would be a great way to combine work and play. The best kind of travel is where I can put it on someone else’s tab. The lodgings would ideally be top-notch, but people who know me know that I am a (fairly) simple person with (fairly) simple needs.

The nature of NGO, training and consultancy work means that you cannot be chained to a desk all day, but have to get out and meet people. Even though I can be quite reserved, I really enjoy getting to meet and know people. I especially love getting out and about, so this aspect of my work would appeal to me very much.

In my dream job, I am THE boss and I don’t take crap from anyone. I make most of the decisions, but I have a trusted, knowledgeable and dedicated team of workers and advisers who I rely on for support, solid information and who I know will get their work done.

My time is my own to manage (pending important projects and deadlines of course), so I can plan more holidays and can be more flexible to accommodate important things that come-up in my family’s life.

I can wear whatever the hell I want and if I want to wear jeans everyday to work, then so be it! I can also wear my hair in whatever manner I choose. (Now, I’m getting really excited thinking about all this. I don’t know how I will do any work for the rest of the day.)

Writing about this was great for me. I think everybody should take some time out to write about their dream job, even if it’s on a piece of paper or in your journal and you choose not to share it with anyone.

The Conservation Center

A friend of mine had mentioned that there was a conservation park in Lekki and since then I'd been dying to visit. I finally made it there today, in between the day's very heavy rainfalls. I figured that at least it wouldn't be too hot (one of my excuses in the past when I had almost made it there). My brother and I went together and driving through the gates brought back memories of Ghana's Aburi Botanical Gardens. I'm not sure why - they look nothing like each other. I guess it was the thought of nature unfettered.

The entrance fee is two hundred naira per adult and as we paid we scanned the long list of To-Dos and Not-To-Dos. My brother claimed that the list stated that we had to have a guide with us at all times. I wondered why. Hadn't the man at the entrance said that there were no wild animals that would "come for us"?

Just as we started on the trail, we saw a peacock - some might say one of nature's most beautiful creatures. I would not! I shuddered at the sight of it. I hate peacocks - please don't as me why. They may certainly boast beautifully-hued plummage, but they emit the most grating and ugly cawing sounds. Moving very swiftly on.

The trail wasn't too long (took us about 25 minutes to cover), but it was almost surreal walking in this jungle, which is so out-of place with the rest of my day-to-day Lagos. A wooden walkway runs the entire length of the trail and, at times, feels a bit rickety and unsafe. In some places, planks were missing, but I'm still here - safe and sound. The man at the entrance said that we might be able to see monkeys, antelopes, crocodiles, squirrels, snakes and lots of birds. Well, we heard some birds and saw one monkey sitting high-up on a tree branch with its long tail dangling beneath it and curled at the end like an umbrella handle. I couldn't tell you what type of monkey it was, but it was fairly small, with brown and white hair. Sadly, we didn't see any antelopes. And to our immense relief, we didn't see any crocodiles or snakes.

The trail loops through a part of the park and just as we returned to the start the sky opened-up and a deluge of rain poured down. It was great spending time with nature. It's funny how the 'bush' that I would have shunned in my younger days is now a source of much fascination and excitement.

Planning For The Weekend

I decided that I would start to actively plan my weekends, which is something that I've never really done. I just believe in seeing what pops-up and going with the flow (unless I have a few things that absolutely have to be taken care of). The typical result of this laissez-faire approach is that my weekends slip away with very little done.

So this weekend, I decided that NO, enough is enough! I hung out with a friend yesterday evening. We mostly just talked, which was a lot of fun (and talking is free). Today, aside from the gym, I attended a performance by the singer, Keziah Jones, at Jazzhole. I wish I could talk more about it, but I got there almost at the end (I guess when they said that the performance would start at 7pm, they really meant it). I liked his voice and thought that his music was different from a lot of the music that I hear on the radio. He terms it "Bluefunk."

I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring, but it has to be something fun. I love my weekends, but they go by entirely too quickly for me.

Our Dear Police

It rained quite heavily a couple of days ago and, as was to be expected, the roads after the rainfall were almost perpetual gridlock. Driving under these circumstances is definitely not pleasant, as you painstakingly inch forward, jealously guarding any free space that opens up. When the car in front of you is too slow to move forward after the traffic starts to move, you blast your horn to remind him or her to get to stepping before any other drivers alongside your car get any funny ideas and try to muscle their way into your lane.

So, when you then see groups of people who obviously feel that they are way, way above the law (Oh wait! They are 'The Law'!), you get very pissed off. I cannot described how incensed I get when I see the police winding their way through the traffic accompanied by the shrieking sounds of their siren. Of-course, we poor drivers have to (reluctantly) move our cars as much to the sides of the road so that our dear 'boys in black' can make their way through. If it were all in the course of some very important work, I think we'd all begrudge them. But as it is, we all know that this is mostly never the case. Instead, it is a disgraceful misuse of power. That's why I get so angry when I see the policemen leaning out of their vehicle windows shaking their batons threateningly at other drivers. And when I see them barelling down the wrong side of the road, causing cars coming in the opposite (and right) direction to almost leap off the road in alarm, I literally want to throw rocks at all their heads.

It's so great knowing that we can count on our police for somethings. To throw more chaos onto already difficult driving conditions, "YES"! To serve and protect with integrity, "Please, don't make me laugh."

Let's Talk Hair - For the Umpteenth Time

What do you know? I haven't posted in a while and what's the first new thing I blog about? Hair! I love trawling through the Internet for hair websites, especially natural hair sites. Even when I had permed hair, I was still very interested in hair care and that interest has remained through my nappy years.

I came across Let's Talk Hair, which is also the name of a natural hair care book. The site appears to be for people of African descent and includes a discussion board (which, from a cursory glance, does not appear to be very active). Nappturality recently upgraded their server and did some site re-design. It looks fab and I'm sure there are a lot of new functionality that I'm yet to discover. Another site that I've checked in the recent past for hair care was the ELLE Magazine website. What the hell was I thinking? I think there must be only white people in ELLE-World going by the photographs they post in their hair care section, because there are absolutely no people of colour.

Nothing, nothing, nothing

You know when you want to blog, but there's nothing to write about? That's how it is with me right now. There are a lot of things going in my life at a sub-terranean level, but they are mostly things that have been going on for a while and so not really worth writing about.

Sometimes life feels so blah and so routine, and then at others there's so much happening. Guess this is just one of those boring phases.

The Changing Face of Ikoyi

For the most part, I grew-up in Ikoyi. Although my family spent some early years in Surulere, Ikoyi is where I grew-up and although we don't live there anymore, it still feels like home. I remember telling my BFF (yes, we grown women still have them) that I plan on moving to Ikoyi when I get married. She thought that was so cute.

Now, there's a question of whether I will actually be able to afford to. Ikoyi is rapidly changing from the place I grew-up in. A lot of property is being bought-up, knocked down and converted into stylish condominiums. Great if you live in one, as many are gorgeous to look at and have luxuries like pools and gyms. In a discussion we had a few months ago, my brother expressed concerns that Ikoyi will over time become over-congested, since condos and luxury apartments means more people and consequently more stress on public amenities. This also means more traffic. Ikoyi, for now, is one of the few places where you can (for the most part) sail down the roads unencumbered by traffic. With more people and more cars, it's fairly certain that this will not last forever. I have heard some depressing predictions that Ikoyi will eventually degenerate into a slum area. With the prohibitively-high real estate costs, I seriously doubt that (and with my desire still to move there, I really hope not).

There seems to be little point in yearning for how things used to be, so it is important to think about the long term consequences of today's decisions and plan for them.

What a Small City Lagos Is

I almost feel the claustrophobia setting in. Okay, not quite, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

I had an appointment at an oil company today. I was to pick up a package and had to wait in the reception area while it was being prepared for me. As I sat, many people passed through the reception on their way in or out of the office complex. I didn't realise just how many people I now know. This is amazing considering I just moved back last August and felt like I knew next to nobody (outside of my family and very old friends). In the 20 or so minutes in which I sat there, I felt like I either knew or recognised every other person who passed by. Some I had met at work, others I had just seen around town and one was an old family friend.

Now I understand how everyone seems to know each other or know of each other. When I was younger, I assumed that my parents were just incredibly popular people as they seemed to know everybody. Now I realise that, yes they are popular. LOL!!!! But, if you spend enough time in Lagos, you too will find yourself stopping every 5 minutes to greet people you know.

Back to My Twists

After wearing Ghana weaving for a while now, I'm scared by what appears to be my gradually weakening hairline. So this week, I went back to my regular twists. This is the first time in a long time that I'm doing my own twists too. I became quite lazy and got in the habit of having them done at a salon. Yes, the professionals twist my hair much faster than I do and they actually part my hair neatly (I never part my hair, I just grab sections of hair), but I love my twists all the same.

Letter to My Younger Self

This is Pilgrimage to Self's idea, after she saw it in the latest issue of O, The Oprah Magazine. I read it in there too and thought that it was such a cool idea.

*********** ************** ************** **************

My Dear Younger Self,

This is your older and (methinks) wiser self speaking. Listen up, as what I have to say will make a world of difference to you. Sigh..... but, remembering what I was like back then, you're probably not going to listen anyway, but still, here goes...........

There is so much that I would like to tell you, that I really don't know where to start from.

-- Okay, remember that things are never quite as do-or-die as they might seem. No, you will not absolutely die if you don't keep up with whatever fashion that everyone else is wearing. When you are older and look back on most of the in-clothes, you will cringe in shame. Arabian baggies!!!! My God, could there be anything less flattering on a young woman's body? I can tell you that is one fashion item that will not be coming back into style.

-- You were always really cool anyway and light years ahead of the pack. So what if no one recognised this but you? Don't fall in with everyone else. Do your own thing and do it with pride.

-- Keep-up with your love for reading, even when your life gets quite busy. Sneaking in a chapter here and there will ultimately be more rewarding than spending hours in front of the TV. No, Sweet Dreams, Sweet Valley High and Mills and Boons don't really count. However, you won't realise this until much later when you find that the perfect tall, dark and handsome guy with a perfect GPA, who is captain of the debate club, swim team, football team, glee club, who is also class president and all-round popular guy doesn't really exist. (Well, maybe he does, but not in Ore's World).

-- Never stop writing. It's so much harder to start again when you haven't written a thing in years.

-- Be confident in yourself and your abilities. I think this is the one thing that you should remember even if you forget everything else. You are so much smarter than you realise.

-- Don't hate on those pretty, popular and smart girls. Yes, I know how unfair it seems that one person could be so hugely blessed, but you are who you are and they are who they are. Each person is an individual and comes with their own unique set of gifts. Just because you haven't figured out what yours are yet, doesn't mean that they don't exist.

-- Live in the moment more! You always were a bit of a worrier. If only you could know that most of the things you agonised over worked themselves out in the end. Don't think so much about about how this decision will affect you in the next 10 years. Just jump in with both feet and go. Some opportunities once gone, are not coming round your way again. So grab life with both hands.

-- There will come a time when your hair will fall out in clumps and you are forced to shave the whole thing off. You will be very upset by this. A couple of years after that, a friend, A, will 'help' you take out your braids and end up chopping a huge section of your hair off the side of your head and AGAIN you are forced to shave off your hair. You will want to kill him, but remember that it will be you who has to go to jail, not him! The US government does not play - especially with non-Americans! Your hair will grow back and in a few years you will even be thinking about cutting it (voluntarily) again. So, don't sweat it.

-- Infact, if you forget the one thing that I told you to remember even if you forget all the other stuff, remember this - Don't sweat the small stuff.

Love, love, love, (x infinity)

Your Older Self xxxxxxxxxxxx

Hold Your Assumptions Lightly

I went to watch a movie tonight with a friend, and while we waited for the movie to start, we sat talking about different things. I can't remember what we were talking about when he said how he had to frequently remind himself to hold his assumptions lightly.

I was to recall this phrase when we went to see our movie, Pride and Prejudice. I am yet to read the book, but have seen several TV and movie adaptations - so much so that I feel like I have read the book. Personally, I've enjoyed all the screen adaptations that I have seen of Pride and Prejudice, but popular opinion seems to be that it is a 'woman's book'.

That is why seeing the gender ratio of the audience was the first big surprise to me. Almost as many men as women. Okay, I thought, the men let themselves be dragged to see this movie. Maybe so, maybe not. Then I was struck by how an English movie (an English period movie, at that) had managed to draw such a large crowd, in an era where American movies still reign supreme. I suppose I really shouldn't have been surprised. The movie was incredibly funny and the story highly compelling and very familiar to us Nigerians. A mother's steely resolve to marry off each of her five daughters (and to marry them off well, to suitable and well-placed partners no less!)

The Quest for the Perfect Hairstyle

The thing about not being at work is that I have a lot more time on my hands. And that often means more blogging. Today is Good Friday and I had looked forward to this holiday weekend, despite the fact that it kind of feels that we have been on holidays more than we have been at work recently.

I was itching to take out my latest Ghana braids (and believe me, "itching" is the right word). On the whole, I LOVE my hair. My hairline though, especially at my temples, has been my major concern. Years of being burnt by relaxers, plus the stress from frequent braiding has taken its toll on my hairline. Though quitting relaxers has certainly helped, the re-growth is not happening as fast as I would like. And now, my ever-increasing reliance on Ghana weaving as a style option has not helped.

Back in Boston, I wore my hair predominantly in twists, twist-outs, afro puffs and afros (relatively low-stress styles). Now, that I'm back home, I suppose I'm adapting to the more stylistically-conservative environment (although this is rapidly changing) as well as to the more formal dress codes of my current job. Another factor is the relatively cheap costs of getting your hair done here. That means that, unlike in Boston where I would have kept any hairstyle in for as long as I could aesthetically get away with it because I had to get good value for money, here in Lagos I can put tiny braids in and take them out two weeks later.

So, where does this all leave my hair? Well, my hairline is very much under siege and I need to find some other staple hairstyles.

Hand-Me-Down Heart

Still on my walk down memory lane. A colleague of mine introduced me to the store where she buys her cards (I needed some Easter cards and she said that her shop is cheaper than the one I normally go to). She was right, plus they had a much wider selection of cards.

We wandered to a different section of the shop, so that she could show me the Chinese cookbook, which she had recently purchased. Then, I saw it! Rows of Sweet Dreams, Sweet Valley High and books by Paula Danziger. Any girl who attended a Nigerian secondary school will undoubtedly be very familiar with the SD and SVH books. We sneaked reads of these books between classes, at break time and while we were supposed to be doing homework or studying. I remember the long queues for these books. The owners would assign positions to everyone who was dying to read the book with the serious and self-important air of a brain surgeon. And we would all remember who was supposed to be reading the book just before us, so that we could hurry them along. Paula Danziger was one of my favourite writers back then too, though I don't remember that her books had quite the cachet of the Sweet Dreams or Sweet Valley High series.

For old times sake, I bought two Sweet Dreams for my sister and I. I started Hand-Me-Down Heart this morning and finished it within an hour and a half. I won't bore you with the story, but I can assure you that the girl gets her guy at the end. The "does he like me, does he not like me?" drama is ended with a sweet and very romantic kiss at the end of the book. Everyone is happy - their respective familes are in total approval, her best friend also finds a boyfriend and blah, blah, blah and damn-blah! Now, I remember why I was such a fast reader back then. The stories were so uncomplicated. And with the series (SD, SWH, Mills & Boons and Harlequin) the story was a well-worn template in which the characters' names, locations and jobs changed, but everything else remained the same. Ahem..... so now I'm off to start on A Chance to Love.

My Dear Old Alma Mater

I had cause to visit Queens College today for official reasons. Driving down to QC felt very strange. On one hand, I hadn't been to QC in a long while, but on the other I recalled the way back like I still make the journey everyday.

QC itself has changed a lot. New buildings have sprouted all over the compound to accomodate the population spike that the school experienced through much of the 1990s. I hear things have since stablised, but the end result is class sizes of about 100 girls per class. Compare this to the 45 to 50-odd girls we had in my time.

Revisiting places from my past always brings up wierdly-mixed emotions in me - combinations of nostalgia, disbelief (at how fast time has moved and just how much has changed in the intervening period), sadness (at how much older I'm getting and from an inexplicable feeling that I'll never again have so much fun in my life) and happiness (if I have great memories from that time). Luckily, I have wonderful memories of QC, but looking back, I wish I had a lot more fun than I did. (I wish this also when I remember my time at university and primary school too.) I always want to make the best of whatever experiences I've had - which is great! The result though is that I'm often very serious about the things I do and miss-out on a lot of fun that I could have had. Of course, said realisations only come afterwards. (That 20-20 hindsight is a muther!!!)

Now, how's this for a strange co-incidence. This very same day, my sister and I both received a text message about a ball being organised by and for QC old girls. AND I read about it in the latest issue of City People. It's billed as the event of the year. Tickets are, apparently, almost sold-out (at a modest =N=10,000 a pop). The ball is to be held next Saturday, but I'm just hearing about it TODAY????

Project Runway

I love to write about whatever I'm reading or watching at the moment. I'm also one of those people who can take away something from almost every experience.

I'm in the midst of watching the second season of Project Runway, which was yet another of my favourite shows from the States. When I first heard of the concept of another reality show, but this one about fashion designers competing against each other for some wonderful prize or the other, I immediately dismissed it as a ridiculously frivolous idea (Okay, helloooo! What was I thinking? Most reality TV would be considered as purely frivolous entertainment.)

Since I had recently acquired cable TV, my motto at the time was to watch everything at least once - just because I could. So I did......... and I LOVED it! From the first show I watched, I was completely hooked. The drama, the intrigue, the burning ambitions - it was incredibly riveting. And just like with America's Next Top Model, I learnt quite a bit about the fashion industry.

With clothes, I know what I like and what looks good on me. I also like to look different from everyone else and that means I like to add my own individual touches to anything I wear. It also means that I do not follow the latest trends. I abhor the sheep mentality that encourages rushing out to buy an item of clothing that has been deemed 'hot' or 'in' by the fashion powers that be. I hate anyone telling me what I should be wearing 'this season' and what favourite clothes of mine should be thrown out, because they are now considered to be the armpit of fashion this month.

However, watching Project Runway and seeing the careful thought that many of the designers put into their clothes makes me think that I need to experiment a bit more where my style is concerned. Being in Lagos will do that to you, in any case. Nigerians are extremely concerned about looking good and Lagos is considered by many to be THE trend-settling city. This can get a bit tiring after a while and, to my immense frustration, I am finding myself gradually getting sucked into the whole 'dressing-up just to go down the road' syndrome. But, I suppose it's infinitely more interesting than Boston where the (mostly freezing-cold) weather, as well as its reputation as a highly intellectual city means that any interest in clothing beyond the practical concerns of covering your nakedness and keeping warm tends to be viewed as extremely superficial.

The Edible Woman

I just finished reading this book by Margaret Atwood and wanted to write something about it, but not quite sure what.

Of course, I enjoyed it as I knew I would. The story focuses on a young woman, Marian, who is "determinedly normal." She's recently graduated from university, is in a job she likes, is going out with a guy that most would consider a great catch and she believes that she's happy. Until her body literally starts rebelling against the path her life is taking.

First, she's signed-up for the mandatory pension plan at her office and that makes her start to think about how much she really likes her job. She'd always assumed that she liked it, but the truth was that it wasn't very challenging work and she had always had one eye on the door, ready to leave as soon as she could be bothered to make the move. Next, she and her boyfriend, Peter, become engaged and again she starts to question her feelings for him. In the course of their dating, she hadn't let herself think too much about where it was all headed. Until, in her mind, it became 'too late' and he proposed marriage to her. Her body starts to revolt by rejecting food. Marian finds herself unable to eat all the things that she once could. Eventually, she finds that can't eat anything at all and that's when she loses it and breaks off her engagement with Peter.

It was an interesting concept to me - the idea of our subconcious and our bodies rejecting decisions that we are making or not making (as in Marian's case). The idea of our bodies rebelling by rejecting food was also fascinating. The Edible Woman made me think about which decisions we make are really ours and which we just fall into because we don't plan or because we are following the 'normal' path in life. A lot of life is like that - you find yourself in certain circumstances, but aren't exactly sure how you got there or that you really wanted to be there, in the first place. People so often end up in jobs, marriages, friendships that they feel ambivalent about. It made me think about how, if we don't actively plan for our lives this is what happens, because not making decisions is still a decision.

A long, rambling post I know!

The New Handshake

I just came across this article in the NYT asking if the kiss is the new handshake. Not really one to keep track of trends here in Lagos or anywhere else really (afterall they are here today, gone tomorrow and back the day after), I notice that everyone is doing it, but I can't remember when it started or if it is a new thing.

It's most disconcerting for me as I never know what to do. I've always thought that in a male-female situation, men do the kissing. However, when I'm meeting another woman I'm stuck for what to do. If I'm quick to the draw, I usually go in for a hug, or a handshake if I'm meeting them for the first time. If they start to move in first, then I just watch what they are doing and try to follow their lead. But then, what is the rule for how many kisses? Most people do a kiss on each cheek; some just kiss on one cheek. Then I never know if I should do the kissing or simply offer-up my cheek to be kissed. My goodness! It's all so complicated. I think I'm sticking with my hugs and handshakes.

But, Seriously!

I walked down to a restaurant down the road from my office for lunch today. The food there was excellent (as usual). Still blissed-out from my gastronomic encounter, I walked back to work.

When I had almost gotten to the gate of my office building, I noticed a Mercedes Benz 4X4 drive past me and then slowly stop a few yards ahead. Although I was almost certain I knew why the driver had pulled over, but hoping that I was wrong, I continued to walk on. Sure enough, as I drew-up alongside the car the guy inside called out to me. I sighed inwardly. Why couldn't I have been wrong about this? Why do some guys have to live up to women's worst expectations.

Leering quite openly at my ass, the guy said that he spotted me walking along the road. He "liked what he saw" and offered me a ride in his car. My God! Does that line normally work for him? Realising what he was after, I told him I wasn't interested and turned to walk on. He called me back saying that he wanted my number so that he could take me out (still stealing glances at my backside). I continued walking and eventually he left.

But seriously, do men think so little of women that they think we will drop at their feet with these really weak approaches? I can imagine that it must be daunting for a man when he sees a woman somewhere and wants to get to know her. But, humour, honesty and sincerity work for most of the women I know (myself included); sleazy lines soooo do not. And additional word of advice: checking out any body parts is strongly not advised.

The Shield

One of my new favourite shows. If you have read any of my many posts about The Wire, you will know that I love my crime shows.

The Shield is another one that I tried to get into in Boston and again here in Lagos on MNET (I'm not sure if they still show it). However, there was a whole backstory that was taking me too long to figure out. So, like I did with The Wire, I got my hands on the DVD and started from season 1.

Now, The Shield is not your average crime show where police=good and criminals=bad. The show is set in L.A., which is not known for its overly kind and helpful police. The Shield's Farmington district represents the dregs in this already scummy pond. Vic Mackie (the lead) leads the "Strike Team", which prides itself on keeping drug-crime down. They do this by working with local drug dealers. They sell them space (for their drug trade) and turn a blind eye to their activities. At the same time, the strike team gets tips from their 'tenants' on rival dealers, who they waste no time in arresting. Hmmm.... I like the show, because it offers a different perspective. Nothing is clear-cut, circumstances are messy and the police are, for the most part, all for justice but their decisions may not always reflect this.

I just looked at the site and saw that it's currently in its fifth season. I'm only half-way through the second. Well, I suppose I have something to look forward to. That and the third season of The Wire. :-)

Hair Styling for Tiny Tots

I was at the hairdresser's the other day and realised that there is a great market for hairdressers who specialise in making children's hair.

Maybe because it is located in a residential area, but the salon I go to now and then to get my hair braided, is frequented by many children who I assume live in the area. The girls are dropped off with their nannies or big sisters. Many of them come in with freshly washed and blow-dried hair, sit and wait their turn. When the hairdresser is ready for them, they clamber into the chair and that’s when the pain begins.

A few girls who come in have relaxed hair (incredible when you think that many of these girls are no more than 8 or 9), but most are still natural. I always feel so sorry for these poor girls, as I watch their hair tugged in all directions by women who probably haven’t had natural hair in years and can’t remember how to care for it (and that’s if they ever knew how to, in the first place). Most girls end up in tears. Those who have been in the game longer, wince and hold their screams in check. I remember very well what it was like to be that little girl and since I have been wearing my hair naturally for the last seven and a half years, I still know what it feels like.

Natural hair is not tough or 'hard' like many women seem to think it is. It does not need to have combs yanked through it in order to get rid of tangles. It especially does not need to be beaten into submission with relaxers (but to each their own, I guess). All it really needs is a lot of love and care (and a little goes a long way). I would suggest that anyone looking to go into a viable business area, open a hair salon for little girls. Make sure you have stylists who really know how to care for and style natural hair and who treat hair gently. Be sure that they love children. Have available lots of books for the girls to read and show fun, interesting and age-appropriate programs or films to hold their interest as they get their hair done. I guarantee it – you’ll be raking in money faster than you can spend it.

NYT Site Redesign

Mmmmmm. The New York Times has gone through a minor website redesign. It's a variation of the old layout, but the results are very striking. It's now much, much cleaner and easier on the eyes. I especially love the tabs at the top of the page.